Kath, 42: ‘Childcare is almost as much as our mortgage’
Social scientist
Washington DC
We have no family near us, so we rely heavily on our daycare for support. For our youngest, we spend $2,580 a month. We also pay about $500 more a month in after-school care for our seven-year-old.
I am in the process of losing my federal job due to the new administration, and childcare is almost as much as our mortgage. It will be hard to manage both expenses. Our house is very old, and it’s already very hard to keep up with the costs of repair because all of our spare change goes to childcare.
Anne Wang-Annanie, 34: ‘Every month we are in the negative’
Elementary school teacher
Tacoma, Washington
We don’t have any family who can watch the kids. I know some people who have their in-laws or parents watch the kids so they don’t have to go to daycare, but we don’t have that, so the kids have to go to daycare.
In February, our household income was $8,480, and our bills totaled $11,900. That’s pretty typical. Every month we are negative, and the extra money comes from my savings. Daycare alone is currently $3,472 per month for two children, and we have a third child on the way. My thought is, I just have to make it through the daycare years.
I cry all the time. It’s so stressful. I don’t know too much about personal loans or home equity lines of credit, but when the savings runs out, I’m gonna have to figure out something else, because it’s not like I’m magically going to make more money.
With free childcare, I would spend that extra money on things for the kids. I would love for them to take different lessons, like taekwondo or swimming. I would pay a babysitter to watch the baby so I could take the older one to a class. My kids have never been able to visit my family in Korea. And, if I had the money, I would get a divorce. The biggest reason we haven’t done that is because we don’t have enough money for us to live separately. I don’t want to be in a marriage I don’t want to be in, but financially, it makes more sense to stay married.
Glen Durrant, 54: ‘I’d be putting that money into shoring up his future’
Software sales
San Jose, California
As an immigrant, you give up your past for your future. It’s a devil’s bargain. You come here and you get a job, get a career, you get settled, you have children, and then you’re hit with these unforeseen costs. In our case, it’s $3,250 for daycare a month. That’s about one-and-a-half times our mortgage.
We don’t have provisions set aside. I set up a 529 account for my son, and I hope there will be enough money there for him to go to university. But it’s cheaper to hire a lawyer to get my son’s UK citizenship so he can take advantage of a British education than it is to send him to a good college here. If we didn’t have to pay for daycare, I’d be putting that money into shoring up his future.
It’s daunting. My wife and I have both built successful careers in Silicon Valley, but having one child was the only option we couldn’t afford.
Keri Hetherman, 37: ‘We would pay off our student loans’
Self-employed
Bangor, Maine
Our kids are two and almost four. We pay roughly $3,000 a month for childcare. We love our daycare, but that’s a lot of money. The alternative is that one of us would have to stay home. Either childcare is one of us, or it’s something that we pay for.
If we didn’t have to pay for childcare, we would pay off our student loans. To become a physician, my husband accrued over $500,000 in debt from undergrad and medical school. By all measures, we’re doing just fine, but we are not living the big life because we essentially have three mortgage payments: a house, student debt and childcare. Those are fixed costs, and they’re important, but they’re not fun.
Marcos Maldonado, 40: ‘$3,000 a month, just so that I can work’
Carpenter
Brooklyn, New York
We spend $2,400 a month on a nanny for our 15-month-old daughter, and $500 on after-school care for our son. That’s almost $3,000 a month, just so that I can work.
So that we can have a little extra, I pick up extra work on the weekends while my wife is home with the kids. She’s a teacher. But if we want to buy anything, we really have to think about it. I have to plan. I have to budget.
My car is breaking down all the time. It needs new tires. But I don’t have the money, and can’t take the time off work to go and get it fixed. I got behind on my electric bill, so now I’m on a payment plan to cover that. I also need shoes for work, but I think a lot before I spend any money on myself.
MS, 42: ‘What are we paying all these taxes for?’
Data researcher
Denver, Colorado
There are no childcare options in our town for children under preschool age, and there are only preschool spots for 40% of applicants. So, we pay $1,000 a week for a full-time nanny, which constitutes 20% of our household income after taxes. We are extremely unsatisfied with our options. What are we paying all these taxes for? It feels personal. We will likely try to move out of the US and give up citizenship. We can’t spend all our free time coordinating basic services. We want quality of life for ourselves, but most of all for our daughter.
Because we worked as academics for so many years, our retirement accounts are only 30% of where they “should” be at this age, so there’s ground to make up. We feel pressure to put away large sums in case of health issues, parents’ healthcare and maintenance, higher education for our daughter, and to make up for the retirement savings we never made while working in research.
